Wrestlemania

Expectation are high this week that the President of Venezuela, Hugo Chávez, will challenge US President, George W. Bush, and British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, to a cage match to settle once and for all their on-going war of words.

While of late President Bush has avoided passing comments on Mr Chávez' style of government, he was last week dragged back into the verbal wrestling ring after comments made by his secretary for defense, Donald Rumsfeld. At a recent press conference, "Rummie" launched a salvo at the Venezuelan president by observing that, like Adolf Hitler, he had come to power legally but had then consolidated in an undemocratic fashion (the inference being with disastrous consequences for not only his country but the world).

Chávez, not one to allow his opponents to hoist themselves on their own petards, countered in characteristically statesmanlike fashion:

"The imperialist, genocidal, fascist attitude of the US president has no limits. I think Hitler would be like a suckling baby next to George W Bush,"

However, expectation as to the imminent cage fight shot up this week after Mr. Chávez' comments eerily started harking back to the glory days of WWF and Wrestlemania. One would have been forgiven for thinking that Mean Gene Okerlund was standing by his side holding the microphone when the Venezuelan leader, addressing Tony Blair, came out with gems such as "you messed with me so put up with me" and "I sting those who rattle me, Mr Blair."

These comments were in response to Mr Blair's less WWF-esque remarks in parliament that Venezuela should abide by the rules of the international community if it wishes to be respected by it. Mr Chávez also said to Mr Blair:"Vayase largo al cipote", a South-American Spanish phrase that can be alternately translated as "go to hell" or "piss off".

In the likely event of the tag-team cage fight, it is as yet unknown who Mr Chávez' partner would be. Former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein has been ruled out as he is currently engaged in his own cage match of sorts with the new Iraqi judicial system. Zimbabwean leader, Robert Mugabe, North Korean leader, Kim Il Sung, and Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, are all on excellent terms with Mr Chávez and doubtless all would relish the opportunity to have a go at one or other of Mr Chávez' tag-team opponents.

President Bush is expected any day now to make an announcement along the lines of: "I've been saying my prayers and I've been eating my vitamins, and what you gonna do Hugo, when Bush/Blair-mania gets its arms round you?????????"